gross gross gross

Dudes. We have spent the last five weeks dealing with bed bug treatment. Our upstairs neighbors got ’em. We went through three treatments, spent two weeks living out of bags, and temporarily lost a cat in the process. Holy shit.

The first treatment was scheduled for Friday, March 4. In my fear, I went out and bought plastic covers for our mattress and box spring. Not a bad idea, because if we did have bugs in our mattress this would keep them from getting out. But also a terrible idea because now we can’t take the plastic off. It is loud and hot. Plus the exterminator brought a much nicer, non-plastic cover for after he treated the mattress which is plenty on its own.

I’m getting ahead of myself. Our landlords were supposed to send us a checklist of prep we were supposed to have done before the exterminator came. We didn’t get the checklist so we were not ready (turns out they had mailed it, and it arrived the day of the treatment). Thankfully, the exterminator said he’d take a bit of time out of his weekend to come back so we wouldn’t have to wait for a new appointment. Darren had to work, but I spent the rest of that Friday washing basically everything we own and packing half out shit in boxes and bags. Here’s a link to a checklist similar to the one we received.

During the treatment, which occurred Sunday, March 6, we took the pets to Darren’s friend’s house for the four hours we were required to vacate. In that time, Winston disappeared. We thought he’d reappear in a day or two, but he didn’t. At first we assumed he was somewhere in the house, but after a few days we started to worry that he’d gotten outside somehow. I posted Lost Cat ads online and one of Darren’s friend’s roommates made posters. On Saturday, March 19, he emerged from inside the couch. The most talkative cat I’ve ever met had crawled into an open seam and hid in silence for two weeks.

Between the first and second treatments, we had to leave all of our stuff bagged. It was a very unpleasant two weeks living with our apartment in that state. It didn’t feel like home, which is uncomfortable and stressful. PLUS OUR CAT WAS MISSING. Nightmare. Treatment number two was Monday the 21st. Two days after bringing Winston home, we had to take him (and the other two animals) away again. We only had to leave for two hours, so we went back to the same place and Winston stayed in his carrier. Lucy was the one who disappeared that time, but she was found in a closet under the basement stairs after just a few hours. We went home and happily unpacked our stuff, thinking it was all over.

Nope! We ended up having a third treatment this past Monday, the 4th. Did I mention I was using vacation time to deal with every one of these weekday exterminator visits? Ugh. We had to wash and pack a bunch of stuff again, although this time we were able to leave pictures on the wall and stuff. Plus we had a few days to prepare, which helped a bit. One more four hour trip away from home and I’m surprised Lucy hasn’t murdered us all, poor thing. She hates her carrier, she hates being in a strange place. But as far as we know, it’s actually over now… although when we unpacked this time, we left our clothes in their bags just in case. Everything is back where it belongs, just wrapped up. When you have coin-operated laundry and have to wash everything you own, it gets very expensive. So we’ll leave some things in bags for a bit, particularly things we won’t use, juuuust in case.

Since our current mattress has to live in plastic I plan on just replacing it asap. I’ll purchase one of the nice, non-plastic covers for it, because I feel like I’m going to have bed bug paranoia at least until we move out of this building, so better safe than sorry.

If we have to do this again I might just lose my mind.

the rest of the story… busted car style

That time I posted about Darren’s car accident and said things were going smoothly? I spoke too soon. We only had liability coverage on the ol’ Impreza, so our insurance co. was like “sorry, we’re actually not dealing with this for you,” so Darren had to handle it himself. It involved many phone calls to a claims adjuster with the other driver’s insurance company. And because he works nights, it was a lot of exchanging voicemails, because she would call around 8 am while he was sleeping.

The accident happened on December 18. We borrowed my brother’s truck for just over a week before they – okay, I’m just going to tell you, It was Farmers – hooked us up with a rental car. We picked that up on the 28th. Eventually they sent someone out to look at the car, and on Friday January 8 they made us a settlement offer that totally sucked, which we were expecting. They also told us that they would only continue paying for the rental through January 11. I immediately went to our credit union and met with a loan officer. We did a fair bit of online car browsing over the weekend, and then I called in to work on the 11th so we could go do some test driving.

Farmers called Darren halfway through the day after they got his message that their offer wasn’t going to work for us. The adjuster they sent out didn’t take into account any of the work we’d had done in the car. This guy was local; the primary person Darren had been dealing with is in an office in Oklahoma. She agreed to extend the rental a few more days, and Darren forwarded her the repair receipts.

We found a new car that day, and completed the purchase the next day. Hooray!

On January 15, Farmers made us an offer we could live with. It at least covered the cost of the very expensive part we had replaced two days before the accident, so that was something. We sent them our title, and on January 27 they towed away the Impreza. We finally received our check yesterday – February 5. Seven weeks to the day after the accident occurred.

Whew. We are both very glad to be done with all that nonsense. We also love the new car – new to us, it’s a 2010 – so at least we seem to have gotten something good out of the ordeal.

the long story of our busted car

The heat in our car died last weekend. Darren called the shop on Monday and I dropped it off early Tuesday morning. It was all fixed in time for Darren to get to work Wednesday afternoon. The cost was several hundreds of dollars. It is basically a sad tradition for us to have costly vehicle repairs at Christmastime- this was the case with our last vehicle as well.

Last night I had just arrived at a Christmas party with a bunch of my favorite friends, when I got two texts from Darren. He was at work. The texts said “Call me now” and “NOW” and I told Kate that if something else on the car had broken I was going to flip my shit. What actually happened was Darren was out on a delivery and had parked. He was still in the car when a moving van backed into him.

Fuuuuck,

The police (as well as Darren’s employer) were called and Darren made his delivery. Might as well get the job done while you wait, eh? The guy who hit him invited him inside to keep warm. Apparently it was a little awkward (lol, no shit), but the guy was decent and thankful that Darren was being so chill about the whole situation. Even though this guy at first was all “do we really need to call the cops though?” YES. YES YOU DO. Anyway, St. Anthony police showed up first and couldn’t do anything because the accident actually occurred in St. Paul. Eventually the correct department arrived and a report was filed. It was determined that the other driver was completely at fault, so score one for us. Darren didn’t want to wait another hour+ for a tow truck to arrive so he managed to hobble the car home. His manager sent another driver to pick him up and bring him to the shop. He made sure Darren got dinner, and they filled out an incident report. The bartender gave him a drink on the house because clearly everyone there is SO NICE YOU GUYS. His manager offered to set Darren up with a ride home, but his friend was on the way.

He’re another thing. Whenever either of us have had to call our insurance company for anything, they are always just incredibly awesome. The woman he spoke with last night was so great Darren told her supervisor to give her a raise. She called back and said she was going to be the adjuster on our claim. Hooray!

While all this was happening, I was at this party contemplating what the hell we were going to do. Darren needs a car for work and as you may know they are also super handy for life in general. Plus it’s Christmas time, so. Eventually I remembered that Kyle has two vehicles and I shot him a hopeful text. My brother, my hero. He’s going to let us borrow one of ’em. I owe him so many burritos!

At the end of the day, this is all a huge pain in the ass that magically could not be going more smoothly– so far, at least. Who knows what happens from here. Plus if the car is totaled then we’re pretty pissed about the brand new blower motor we just had put in. But nobody was hurt and we’re going to be able to live our lives in the meantime. That’s somethin’.

2015!

Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I think I forgot to make resolutions. I’m fine with that.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

A coworker, a coworker’s wife, many FB friends, but most importantly Jenna birthed Nephew Johnston!

Did anyone close to you die?

Grandma. ❤

What countries did you visit?

Just this one, but at least we made it all the way to the coast.

What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?

More money, as per usual. Ooh, also 100% healthy and cavity-free teeth plz.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

No babies in 2015! Finally went on a proper vacation. Paid off some debt too, so that rules.

What was your biggest failure?

I dunno, probably not paying off even more debt. Also, getting our rental car towed. I am still embarrassed about that.

What was the best thing you bought?

A new TV stand. Thanks IKEA! Our living room looks so much better.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

All the badasses at Planned Parenthood, fighting the good fight.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

I CANNOT EVEN WITH SO MUCH BULLSHIT COMING FROM SO MANY DIRECTIONS with the Trump and the guns and PP doesn’t “sell baby parts” omg

Where did most of your money go?

It’s a toss-up between my dentist and the car.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

DISNEYLAND

What song will always remind you of 2015?

Hmm. Something by TSwift, probably. Maybe Shake it Off, even though it was released last year.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or Sadder?

I mean right this second my face totally hurts so I’m probably sadder, but over all… same?

Thinner or fatter?

Maybe thinner? Maybe the same.

Richer or poorer?

Probably about the same.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Adventure!

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying.

How will you be spending Christmas?

Christmas Eve with my family, Christmas Day with Darren’s. Hopefully D doesn’t have to work Christmas Eve.

Did you fall in love in 2015?

Yes, with California.

How many one-night stands?

I have one night stand. It holds many things.

What was your favorite TV program?

Law & Order: SVU. I caught up on several seasons and regret nothing.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

My teeth. I turned 30 and they were like HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU AND YOUR FLOSSING AND YOUR FLUORIDE MOUTHWASH WE DON’T GIVE A SHIT ENJOY SOME PROBLEMS

What was the best book you read?

The Doctor is In: Dr. Ruth on Love, Life, and Joie de Vivre

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Sufjan Stevens’ newest album. So good. So sad.

What did you want and get?

Maybe I should answer this after Christmas. Kyle got my name in the drawing and I know he’s getting me something off my list!

What did you want and not get?

A million dollars.

What were your favorite films of this year?

I seriously cannot remember the last time I went to a movie. Maybe we’ll go see Star Wars.

What did you do on your birthday?

I threw myself a party at home and it was the beeeessssst!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?

Neutrals 4 lyfe.

What kept you sane?

Yoga. I confess I haven’t been to the studio in months though. Thanks, Lesley Fightmaster!

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

ADA Rafael Barba. In the non-SVU world you may know him as Raul Esparza.

What political issue stirred you the most?

WHAT DIDN’T OMG

Who did you miss?

The fam.

Who was the best new person you met?

Nephew Johnston! Literally a new person, and also the best.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015:

Listen to your dentist.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I can sleep in ’til noon anytime I want
Though there’s not many days that I do

curse the darkness

I was minding my own business Thursday night when I heard a loud crash, which was followed by darkness. A tree branch/half of an entire tree fell and ripped the power lines off our building.

 So that was exciting. Xcel came out right away to cut off the power to the downed lines so nothing would catch fire, but told us it might be a few days before power was restored to the building due to the extensive damage.

We ended up sitting out on the stoop with our neighbors from across the hall, sharing the contents of our liquor cabinets. Sleep was rough without the sweet white noise of a fan, but I managed a few hours. Our landlords ended up getting the power going again about 18 hours after it went out, so there were lights and such when I got home from work on Friday. I’ve heard it may be a temporary fix because some repairs may have to be done before the permanent lines get replaced, but I’ll take it. No TV or internet though, because of course Comcast’s setup is in the same spot where the tree fell. So much for my weekend of Netflix. Comcast did come out yesterday morning though, so all was not lost. The food in our freezer even survived, but I did have to toss some stuff from the fridge. Not the end of the world.

Now maintenance just needs to remove the tree and fix the gutter. Then we’ll be all set.

spoiler alert: my mom doesn’t have cancer

Not this time!

On Friday, while we were getting everything ready for Darren’s party (before he threw out his back. He has since fully recovered), I received a text from my mom. it was a group text to my and my three brothers that said she’d be having back surgery on the 25th. She hurt her back at work in May, and at some point her doctor found a “suspicious mass” that needed to be removed.

So that’s fun.

Mom had cancer – I don’t know if it was technically tongue or throat, but the very small tumors were on the way back of her tongue – back in 2006 or so, but I was all “nope nope nope” and figured it was best to just wait and see. I didn’t even think to google until just now, so good job me.

Anyway, I got another group text while I was on the train home yesterday. Good news, surgery went well and it was a benign tumor. I sent a happy response and teared up a little, because the last thing my family needs this year is anything else shitty. Happy healing, mom!

lift with your legs

Darren’s birthday party was last night. It was held in the back yard of the house of some friends. Tons of people showed up – apparently Darren is very popular. There was one major problem, though. We went splitsies with Tara on a keg from Summit, which she brought over shortly before the party began. Darren got it out of her car himself, which was a mistake as he promptly threw out his back. The pain only got worse as the night went on. We left earlier than anticipated, although the party was winding down so really he was able to stick it out for the most part. He’s still sore today but with some improvement. There were a lot of “that’s what happens when you get old” comments, which… yeah. Helpful.

Meanwhile, I am typing this out on our tablet because my beloved laptop is disassembled. A few days ago the display went wonky and it seemed like the connection might be loose. I hooked up an external monitor earlier today but that whole setup was a nightmare. Darren took the laptop apart tonight and discovered that the display cable needs to be replaced. He accidentally broke the keyboard in the process, so that’ll need to be replaced too. Bu it’ll be like a $50 repair, which is obviously better than a several hundred dollar replacement.

So I guess it’s been an interesting couple days. Yep.

the landscape of an August day

Where did the past three months go? Summer, man. It’s a time-suck in all the right ways.

So I turned thirty, and a bunch of my friends have too since then. Good work, team! Way to be alive. Darren’s birthday is on Thursday so he’s throwing a big ol’ yard party at a friend’s house on Friday. We both have the day off work to “prepare,” a.k.a. sleep in and I guess buy some stuff to grill? Oh, and I’m making a cake.

Speaking of days off with Darren, our anniversary was a couple weeks ago. It was our 5th, and it fell on a Friday so we figured we should probably go big. Not all plans go accordingly, though. We were going to visit the MN Zoo, then the Mall of America, and end with a fancy dinner. Well. Did you know the MN Zoo doesn’t have giraffes? Listen, I’ve never been there but I’m sure it’s a great zoo. But the night before, we both agreed that the cost of admission (plus parking) was just not worth it and our money would be better spent elsewhere. We agreed we’d hit up the Como Zoo instead, which is close to home and donation-based. AND THEY HAVE GIRAFFES. Also a polar bear.

Except neither of us slept well the night before, so we slept later than planned, went out for breakfast, and decided to skip zoo-ing altogether. Everything else went as planned, though! We wandered the mall, bought some craft liqueurs, ate some Coldstone, and snarked on the weirdos. We took a couple hours to relax after that, then had an amazing dinner at Bennett’s Chophouse in St. Paul. So good, you guys. If you go, get the smoked salmon appetizer. Trust me.

Anyway, most of the rest of the summer has been relatively uneventful. Patios, a lake day, yard parties and bonfires — just trying to enjoy it while it lasts. The state fair is next week, which is the best thing about the season. I’ll be sure to post the list of gluttony.

30

Well, I made it to thirty. Darren and I celebrated with a day off work and a huge lunch at Fogo. Last night we had a bunch of my favorite people over for food and games. It was for sure the best birthday I can remember.

such twins.

So! Let’s check in: how’d the 30 by 30 thing work out? Click that there link to find out. Long story short: as I expected, I did not accomplish every item, but knocked out some great ones.

Life is good, y’all.

helen

I’ve written and deleted a whole lot here, but I just don’t really know what to say. My grandma passed away a couple weeks ago. It was not sudden, but it is still sad. Mostly I just wanted to write down some memories, so instead of coming up with a good segue I’m just going to start a list:

Grandma was an amazing cook, as grandmas often are. She made the best and prettiest lemon meringue pie in the entire world.

Taco Tuesday used to happen every week at the restaurant where she worked, so when Kyle and I would visit in the summer we would always pick up tacos for dinner.

Before I got too old, I would often share a bed with her. Every night, no matter the time of year, she would recite The Night before Christmas, which I totally forgot is actually called “A Visit from St. Nicholas.”

Grandma was in charge of walking the dog whenever they had one (Beagles. First there was Clancy, then a little while after he died they got Corkey). We took many, many long walks around the tiny village of Bagley, WI with those dogs.

There used to always be kittens living in the shed out back of the restaurant and she always let us hang out back there and play with them while she worked.

Only grandma could get the perfect ratio of Hershey’s Syrup to milk every time. Related: it was always her idea to make chocolate malts.

She had gold flatware before it was trendy.

She didn’t teach me to crochet, but she was the only person in my family who actively crocheted. We all have so many afghans. She and I both made blankets for Kyle & Jenna’s baby.

Love, you, Grandma. xoxo