don’t be fooled: this post is not about television.

There are a handful of shows on TV these days that I watch regularly. Most of the time I do that on the weekends via Hulu. Tonight I watched the most recent episodes of Parenthood on NBC (the second-to-last episode of the series!), and Mom on CBS. I also watched the final episode of the unfortunately canceled NBC show A to Z, but this post is happening because of the previous two.

On Parenthood, the family patriarch, Zeek, is  – to make a long story short – dying. He has a heart condition and although they don’t know how much time he has left, it is what it is. Meanwhile, his eldest daughter just got engaged. She’s in her early 40s and has adult children and she’s finally found love. But her dad is sick. She and her fiance Hank have been talking about fancy wedding plans, but with everything going on with her dad Sarah sits down with Hank and explains that she wants to get married locally, and soon, like next week (aka the last episode of the series), because “I just want to make sure that my dad is there.”

And suddenly almost 23 years of FEELINGS came pouring out of my face. There haven’t been many instances in the past couple decades where I’m anything other than matter-of-fact about my father being gone, but apparently I have a trigger. The last time I was overwhelmed with this particular emotion was sometime in the fall probably, when I thought about Kyle and Jenna’s baby-to-be and how dad won’t be here to meet his first/likely only grandchild. So I guess my trigger is Important Life Events That Dads Should Be There For, like weddings and babies.

Anyway, later in the evening I watched CBS’s Mom, and Christy’s dad Alvin, who only recently came back into her and her mom Bonnie’s life, dies suddenly (in the middle of bangin’ Bonnie). Christy spends the episode trying to keep it together for the sake of her kids and Bonnie, but at the very end she’s crying alone in her bedroom. Bonnie comes in to comfort her and at one point Christy says something about how she had so little time with him. Well I was still all fragile after Parenthood so I went ahead and lost it again.

Listen, my brother and I have an awesome stepfather (he and mom will be celebrating their 24th wedding anniversary this summer) who we both have been calling our dad for so long that I don’t remember ever calling him anything else. We’re not lacking in the father department. But shit, man, it sure would be nice to have both of them, y’know?

50 things that made my year

I got this idea from Tim, who was inspired by another blogger. They both went to 100, but I found 50 to be… well, easier.

In no particular order, fifty things that made my year in 2014:

1. ringing in 2014 in Fort Kickass
2. yoga
3. headstands and the other cool stuff I’m learning to do with my body. That sounds dirty.
4. construction of the Green Line finally finished and now I get to take the train to work
5. my resolutions for the year: eat more cheese and eat more burritos. Massive successes.
6. that time the White House had a real-life Big Block of Cheese Day
7. that genius burrito Kickstarter campaign
8. the even more amazing Reading Rainbow campaign
9. we got rid of our janky old car
10. I learned to knit
11. PuppyCam happened again
12. that time Enli and I encountered a squirrel in the yard carrying an entire egg roll in its mouth.
13. RiffTrax Live was perhaps a life-changing experience.
14. Clay Aiken ran for Congress, his opponent died, and he still lost.
15. Finally took Darren to the original motherland of Bagley, WI. It was kind of sad, but I’m glad we made it there anyway.
16. So many office happy hours.
17. Peanut Butter Oreos
18. I started making my own BBQ sauce and life may never be the same.
19. The horrible upstairs neighbors broke up and moved out.
20. that time I saw Derek Jeter in real life and spent the rest of the day singing Derek Jeter’s Taco Hole.
21. Sharknado 2 and the existence of the Sharknado theme song
22. the day of my oldest brother’s wedding, I learned that my Twinkle is gonna be a dad (in like 2 1/2 months, whaaaat!)
23. So, yeah: Cody got married, Tyler got engaged, Kyle and Jenna are having a baby. I’m piggybacking off my brothers and their Big Life Events.
24. that time a bunch of us only worked until noon and then went to a baseball game
25. playing Goldeneye for the first time in probably 15 years
26. midterm elections happened and I got to experience the joy of not voting for Mike McFadden.
27. we went to a hunting-themed wedding where the groom wore a camouflage tuxedo jacket and it made my life.
28. I watched so much good TV, thanks in large part to Netflix. Psych, Twin Peaks, all of Gilmore Girls, yet another West Wing rewatch… to name a few.
29. the OMG Literally Dead Instagram account
30. spending a day swimming and bar-hopping with Brenna, and more friends joining in
31. lunch on the “patio” at the Blue Door with Kate, in the rain
32. so many birthday cupcakes!
33. I finally read The Princess Bride
34. Other “made my year” books I read: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Hyperbole and a Half, Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, The Ocean at the End of the Lane
35. mom gave us copies of her pregnancy notes so I scanned ’em.
36. watching Enli and Winston wrestle
37. I saw a very impressive Beatles tribute show
38. I made cheese
39. yet another excellent day at the State Fair
40. we put in new seats at the Orpheum and it was crazytown.
41. I crocheted several adorable things for Fetus Johnston.
42. these ladies
43. this guy
44. these little monsters
45. air plants and my ability to actually keep them alive
46. when Kelsey’s question for Nick Offerman ended up on the Tonight Show.
47. this picture of me and my dad
48. all the things that made (and continue to make) me laugh really hard, like this gif.
49. meeting a bunch of new friends
50. many, many excellent cups of coffee.

Fair Day and other things

It’s nearly September and I’m a little hurt by that. I do love fall, but it’s a bit spoiled by what comes after. That said, the end of summer means one big thing: the Great Minnesota Get Together. That’d be the State Fair for you non-Minnesotans. As has been tradition for the past decade plus, I went with Kate, Kelsey, their father, and of course Robin. Kate’s boyfriend joined us for the first few hours and did very well.

We spent about 14 hours there, although about an hour of that was spent taking our customary nap/break behind the dairy building. At the end of the day, it all comes down to one thing: the food list. What did we eat this year? Let’s see…

• Cinnamon rolls w/ milk (or coffee)
• Mini donuts
• Footlong
• Beef sticks
• Giant turkey sandwich
• All-you-can-drink milk
• Lemonade
• Beer gelato
• Four beer flights
• Fried green tomatoes
• Pretzel curds
• Oven fresh brownie w/ milk
• 1919 root beer
• Sweet corn
• Corn & blue cheese fritters
• Coconut macaroons
• Cream puffs w/ milk
• Sweet corn ice cream
• Lobster roll w/ fries
• Dairy barn sundaes (or a cone)
• Deep fried Snickers
• Porketta wings
• (Kelsey and Robin had schnitzel strips without us)
• Another footlong
• Red velvet funnel cake

Over all the summer has been pretty standard. The annual Ladies Cabin Weekend happened at the end of July. My oldest brother, Cody, got married at the beginning of August, then Darren and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary a few days later. Probably the most exciting thing is learning that I’m going to be an aunt again – Kyle and Jenna are expecting a wee one in March. Hooray! I’m going to teach him (or her) all about Doctor Who and musical theatre. Nerd child.

I started going to yoga last week and it’s one of the best thing’s I’ve done for myself. Once upon a time I did Core Power’s free week, but most studios are so expensive to join and even drop-in classes are spendy. Since then I’ve practiced a little at home, but mostly just in the form of simple stretching. Tula Yoga & Wellness in St. Paul is donation-based, so you can take most of their classes for as little as $5. They also have aerial yoga which I am excited to try eventually. /accidental commercial

Summertime, and the living is… easy?

Here’s a quick list of ALL THE THINGS, in no particular order.

We made it down to Wisconsin to see the grandparents. That was over a month ago, on June 7. Grandma is not doing well- at the time she was still staying at a care facility, but they were able to bring her home recently. A nurse comes to the house four hours a day. I’m glad we made it down; it had been far too long. We were able to celebrate grandma and grandpa’s 63rd anniversary with them (anniversary was June 8) which was very special.

Grandpa told us we should “take something to remember grandma,” which was a little awkward. She’s still alive. Still, this little glass chicken dish caught my eye, and now it’s in our living room.

Darren lost his plumbing job yesterday, only because his boss decided he doesn’t like having to teach him everything. He still works for Papa John’s, so it’s not like we’re suddenly in a financial panic. He intends to go through the process of getting a union apprenticeship, so I think in the end it will work out in his favor. Cross your fingers he passes all the tests! That said, if we turn down plans, please know it’s only because we’re trying to avoid spending money. Feel free to come over and drink at our place.

I had a four-day weekend for Independence Day. I learned that I only enjoy fireworks from a safe distance, so when we went to a party that involved yard explosions I spent most of the evening inside with the dogs (our dog and a friend’s). No regrets. Brenna was in town that weekend for her dad’s 60th birthday, and we were able to get together on Sunday. We went to the beach, then to Grumpy’s Bar in Roseville where Tara met us. Afterwards, we headed back to the Muddy Pig in St. Paul where we were joined by Sean, Dave, and of course Darren.

I told you this was in no particular order.

Last night I took Kate, Rebekah, and Michelle to RiffTrax Live: Sharknado. They broadcast from one of our – my company’s – theatres and I managed to get us comps. I was the only one that had seen the movie previously, but I tend to forget a lot about movies if I have only seen them once (and often twice, or even three times…). That plus the riffing made for mega good times.

Legendary.

Now it is Friday. This coming Tuesday I am dragging Darren with me to see Welcome To Night Vale on tour, because they’re coming to another one of our theatres and once again I was able to nab some comps. Until then, I think I’m going to spend some time binge-watching House on Netflix. Haters to the left.

the haps

It feels like a lot has been going on in the last three weeks, but not much of it has been very exciting.

Darren started a job as a plumber’s apprentice at the end of April. It’s part-time right now, just because that’s how the work load is. It’ll pick up to full-time in the summer. His boss, Jeff, runs the business alone and Darren is his first employee. For an apprenticeship, Darren will have to register with the state and there’s mandatory schooling involved. I think it’s 144 hours per year for five years, then a test. He hasn’t registered yet, but will soon. He’s still doing the delivery thing part-time about four nights a week, so we’ll see how it goes.

Although who knows how long it’s going to be before we can really judge anything, because poor Baxter developed a hernia last week. He saw the doctor on Monday. She said he was very lucky; it’s minor enough that he doesn’t need surgery, just a lot of rest. Which means he can’t work for a bit. He has a follow-up next week, so here’s hoping the thing gets better instead of worse. We can handle him not working for a couple weeks, but if he ends up needing surgery then who knows.

What else? Had more work done on the car a couple weekends ago. Wheel bearing, blah blah. Darren’s boss has a mechanic buddy who did the work for much less than shop labor would have cost, so that was awesome, but he’s in Coon Rapids. His house is like two blocks from Kyle and Jenna’s, so Kyle met us there and we had lunch, then he brought us home. What an excellent brother.

We assumed we were going to be car-less until the next day, but it was finished later that afternoon. Getting back out to CR was a friggin’ ordeal. The amount of time it took to find someone willing to help us out was rather depressing.

We’re trying to work out a time in the near future to go visit my grandparents in Wisconsin. Probably next weekend? I guess Darren may or may not be able to make it because hernia, but at least Kyle, Jenna, and I will go. Fingers crossed Darren can come too.

Someone destroyed the washer and dryer in our building last week, so we have to do laundry elsewhere until they’re replaced. Last night we went to the home of some pals so the dogs could play, we could grill, and our clothes could get washed. It was fun, but I hope our machines get taken care of soon. Hauling that stuff around is annoying.

That’s about it. Summer hours start this week at work, so we close a couple hours early on Fridays for the next few months. And this weekend is a long one, thanks to the holiday on Monday. Three day weekend with no plans? Sounds like a dream.

Birthday stuffs

Tuesday night I was digging around for something that I never did manage to find, but in the process I came across a folder I had forgotten about. In it, I found miscellaneous items and a photocopy of my mom’s pregnancy notes. How timely!

It’s hard to read, so I’ve transcribed below (I am twin B, Kyle is twin A). Happy birthday to me (and Kyle)!

But the question is, what do we name it?

Four years ago, we acquired a sad-looking but functional ’97 Dodge Caravan. It was a hand-me-down from Darren’s parents and we payed exactly zero dollars for it. But it’s been on its last legs for a few months now and especially after this winter, replacement is a necessity. Since around September, we’ve been passively searching for an affordable vehicle that can handle the weather that we deal with in this sorry state.

Darren’s coworker Joe buys cars at auctions, fixes them as needed, and sells them. When he told Darren he had a Subaru for sale, we were intrigued. It’s a 2002 Impreza; the car itself has 150K miles on it, but the engine was replaced at around 130K. There’s some cosmetic issues – small dents, mostly, and a wee patch of rust on the wheel well – and the muffler needs to be replaced. It also needs a good cleaning. But instead of taking care of all these things and selling it for double the price, we got a sweet deal (so sweet that the loan payment is only $35 a month) and will be unloading the stupid van at the same time.

I have exactly one picture of said car.

Darren got a shop recommendation from someone in the know, and made an appointment for muffler repair next Thursday. So we can’t really drive it yet, unless we want to risk a ticket because it’s so very, very loud. We’re hitting up the DMV tomorrow I think, and we’ll get the insurance switched over sometime this week.

All of this to say: ALL WHEEL DRIVE, YOU GUYS! And I’m so excited to not be rolling around in that shitty mom-van anymore.

Two Zero One Four

Hey guys, happy new year! I spent my evening at Rec View with Kate, Susanna, and Michelle. We ate too much food, drank Bailey’s milkshakes, built a Sweet Fort, and watched Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest. That’s the full title, guys.

Check out Fort Kickass:

Now I’m home and about to crawl into bed. I have one day left of my 12 day vacation and I plan to spend it doing as little as possible (which is how I spent most of said vacation). Everything will be closed so that helps my cause. First, though, I wanted to post this. It’s Dear Abby’s annual resolution column, full of wisdom and goodness.

DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2014! It seems like the world spins faster every year. With each new year comes our chance for a new beginning. It’s an opportunity to discard destructive old habits and create healthy new ones. With that in mind, I will share my often-requested list of New Year’s resolutions that were adapted by my mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I’ll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I’m a smoker, I’ll quit. If I am overweight, I will eat healthfully — if only for today. And not only that, I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it’s only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take the responsibility for my own actions.

Have a good year, friends. Get some sleep.

2013, summarized

It’s only December 10, but I think it’s time to post my annual year-end summary list of things. It’s not very exciting! This year had many ups and downs, but I managed to always come out on top. Success.

Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I didn’t make any. Although I did accomplish some things on my 30 by 30 list.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

This was the year of many babies. So, so many babies.

Did anyone close to you die?

Not super close, but Jessika and Carl’s deaths are still stinging.

What countries did you visit?

Stayed in this one, once again.

What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013?

My answer is the same as last year: Always more money. More time. More sleep. More warm weather!

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

No babies in 2013! Got a raise. Finally took a real vacation.

What was your biggest failure?

Didn’t manage to acquire the new car we were hoping for. Mostly because we are lazy car shoppers, but also because car shopping is daunting. Also I am a cheap bastard.

What was the best thing you bought?

This laptop, although Darren is the one who purchased it, as he thought the matter was more urgent than I did. I’m also really loving our new humidifier.

Whose behavior merited celebration?

Wendy Davis.

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Ugh, lots of people. Although I know a guy who robbed a bank a couple months ago…

Where did most of your money go?

Bills and vacation.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

MN legalized same-sex marriage and it is awesome.

What song will always remind you of 2013?

I love Miley but I still hate to say it: We Can’t Stop. The video is SO BAD though, I won’t argue that.

Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or Sadder?

Same-ish. Maybe a little happier!

Thinner or fatter?

The same, I think. I bought pants today and was not disappointed by the size, so it’s a win.

Richer or poorer?

Same.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

Saving money, AS ALWAYS. Gotta make money to save it though I guess.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying.

How will you be spending Christmas?

Christmas Eve with my family. Don’t know about Christmas, probably snuggled up at home.

Did you fall in love in 2013?

I fell in love with my re-arranged bedroom and the aforementioned humidifier. I still like Darren just fine, too.

How many one-night stands?

Zero.

What was your favorite TV program?

The Mindy Project.

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

One of Darren’s friends. Whatever.

What was the best book you read?

I finally read The Giver just last week and it was fabulous. Fabulous!

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Was this the year of Mackelmore? I think so. It’s also is the year I decided to own my love of pop music.

What did you want and get?

Another raise.

What did you want and not get?

A new car.

What were your favorite films of this year?

Sharknado! Seriously though, I only saw one movie in the theater this year, for no reason other than I am a cheap bastard (as previously noted). That one movie was Identity Thief and it was hilarious. Still hoping to see Catching Fire though. But most of my entertainment comes from Netflix.

What did you do on your birthday?

My friends threw me a friggin’ surprise party at the Rec. There was a TARDIS cake and it was amahzing!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

Comfortable. Suitable. Sort of starting to develop a personal uniform, which I’m fine with. Makes things easier.

What kept you sane?

My fabulous friends,

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Anne Wheaton, my new idol.

What political issue stirred you the most?

What didn’t? These last few years have been dramatic.

Who did you miss?

Brenna.

Who was the best new person you met?

Michelle! Love Michelle.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2013:

For all the shit that life puts me through, I survive all of it. Now I just need to remember that.

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

My day at work was just like it always is
The same old same old
I appreciate the opportunity over and over
But I had supper with my shadow
And we had quite the discussion
If I truly believe that things can change will I wake up to something different?

I don’t think that means what you think it means

One post a month is apparently the new normal here. Unfortunately this has been a sad but otherwise unremarkable November. Such is life.

A couple weeks ago, Darren expressed an interest in seeing We Will Rock You, which is playing here this week. So we went, and it was not great. It was also not the worst – that honor still goes to 101 Dalmatians the Musical – but it has a weak plot, hokey dialogue, and there are several instances where they’ve changed the lyrics to Queen’s music in order to make it more modern. Radio Ga Ga is suddenly a song about the internet and it pains me. Brian May and Roger Taylor collaborated with the show’s writer and that might make it worse somehow, like how could they let this happen? They way they try to work the songs into the plot is so, so awkward. It’s also weird to hear Queen sung by not-Freddie Mercury or that guy from YouTube who sounds just like him. Under Pressure sung by not-Mercury and not-Bowie is so much less impressive.

Also, the people sitting behind us were drunk, loud, and the one dude in the group legit passed out and was snoring. These were people twice my age, mind you. I was seated next to a coworker and once intermission rolled around she asked them to be more respectful. They were pretty rude about it, but there was a little improvement for the second act.

After curtain-call the entire cast sang Bohemian Rhapsody (like this, but minus Brian May of course), which I knew was happening at some point, so that was pretty rad. Over all, I’m glad I got to see it but I’m also glad I didn’t have to pay for it.

What else? One of my air plants did not survive long. I think it was still a little wet when it was shipped – actually, they came wrapped in plastic and there was some moisture in the bag when they arrived, so yeah. I didn’t think much of it at first, until I realized the one was showing some signs of some rot. I failed to save it, sadly, but the other two are thriving. They’ve grown, even.

Darren and I have been making an effort to mix up our dinner routine. Expect some future posts about whim-based cooking, including popovers, a tasty but slightly failed Yorkshire pudding, and lots of soups.